People often ask me:
“Awatif, you speak passionately about great leadership and promoting good behaviour, but what advice would you give someone struggling under a toxic boss? A boss who makes them miserable day in and day out?”
Workplace toxicity can affect confidence, performance, motivation, and personal wellbeing. While every situation is different, employees need practical ways to protect themselves, assess their options, and respond without compromising their values.
To that, I offer six simple options for navigating toxicity.
1. Educate
I am a strong believer in second chances. If the boss is receptive to feedback, and the relationship between the boss and the employee is close enough to allow for candid conversations, I would highly recommend using the moment as an educational opportunity.
This option not only helps the boss become a better leader, but also supports colleagues and bystanders who are subjected to toxic behaviour but are not in a position to voice their concerns.
2. Depart
If the environment is really bad, and leaving is possible, then physically removing yourself from harm’s way may be the best option.
However, I realise that this is not possible for everyone. Many people cannot leave or cannot afford to do so immediately. In that case, they should consider the next four options, or a combination of them.
3. Detach
If physical departure is not possible, create some mental distance.
Detachment and disengagement often occur naturally when people are working in toxic environments. Their bodies are present, but their minds are elsewhere.
Limit your time with toxic personalities as much as possible without allowing that distance to be used against your performance. Make sure to document your work, including supportive comments and feedback from colleagues, customers, and other stakeholders.
4. Protect
Build healthy boundaries to protect yourself.
Those spreading toxicity are unlikely to respect the boundaries you establish, but you should still maintain them for your own self-preservation.
Recognise the toxic behaviour by naming it. Is it blame-shifting, gaslighting, belittling, dishonesty, favouritism, backstabbing, credit-stealing, gossip-fuelling, passive-aggressive behaviour, or open aggression?
Naming the behaviour helps you categorise it and, subsequently, decide how to deal with it.
Remind yourself that their conduct is a reflection of their character, not yours. Do not allow it to affect your self-esteem or identity, or force you to compromise your values.
5. Find Your Happy Spot
Focus on the things that make you happy.For me, it is music. For you, it might be family, the sound of children’s laughter, long walks, travel, a spa treatment, sport, or art.
Whatever it is, focus your mind on it and tell yourself:
“Soon, I will be there. Soon, I will do that.”
6. Use Natural Uplifters
There are many natural foods and supplements that can help reduce the stress caused by toxicity. Below are some examples.
Mood-Boosting and ComfortingDark chocolate: Contains compounds linked to dopamine and serotonin activity.
Bananas: Rich in vitamin B6 and carbohydrates that help support serotonin production.
Honey: Provides gentle energy and may support serotonin pathways.
Vanilla: The aroma itself is often calming and emotionally comforting. Brain and Serotonin-Supporting Foods
Salmon: High in omega-3 fatty acids linked to mood regulation.
Eggs: Contain choline and vitamin D.
Oatmeal: Helps stabilise blood sugar and promotes steady energy.
Yoghurt: Gut health is increasingly linked to mood and stress regulation. Calming and Stress-Reducing Ingredients
Chamomile tea: Traditionally associated with relaxation and reduced anxiety.
Lavender: Often used for calming effects through aroma or tea.
Turmeric: Its anti-inflammatory properties may support mood health.
Green tea: Contains L-theanine, which promotes calm alertness. Natural Energy and Positivity
Citrus fruits: Bright flavours and vitamin C can feel energising and refreshing.
Berries: Rich in antioxidants and associated with cognitive support.
Nuts: Walnuts and almonds provide magnesium and healthy fats.
Cinnamon: Its warm flavour is associated with comfort and blood sugar balance.
We may not be able to stop toxicity or help individuals abandon harmful behaviours, but we can most definitely control what we allow to affect us.
We owe that to ourselves and to the people we love.
A Message for Leaders
I could not end this article without offering insight to leaders who may not realise that their conduct is having a negative impact on their teams.
Self-reflection requires a high level of maturity. Seasoned leaders make time at the end of each day to reflect on their conduct, recognise what went well, and identify the behaviours that did not serve them or the people around them.
They reflect consciously and systematically, with a genuine intention to improve.
The second thing leaders can do is seek feedback from both their inner and outer circles. They need to actively listen to the opinions of those close to them, as well as those observing from a distance.If they hear something that conflicts with how they see themselves, they should dig deeper rather than dismiss it. They should ask for examples, gather more information, and try to recognise a pattern. They must then do the hard work of responding constructively to that feedback.
They might not be able to change everything immediately, and that is okay. They should focus on what they can change, begin there, and gradually build momentum. Step by step, their conduct can improve, ultimately shaping the legacy they leave behind.
About the Author
Awatif is a Fulbright scholar with fifteen years international work experience including roles with Fortune 500 companies. She is an entrepreneur and author who wants to share her knowledge and experiences to help both companies and their employees reach new horizons where tranquility exists between life and work.